Mar. 24th, 2010

sapanwood: (☄ hesitant)
That day, when Nika asked Tanya to be his girlfriend, she first asked if it was all right with me. Tanya thought... I think, she must have thought that I liked Nika since we were always around each other. But it— it wasn't like that! The two of us were both in photography club, so we couldn't help but be together during shoots. Sometimes he would be there to help set up for meetings. And there were times when he would tease me, like when I accidentally tripped and planted my face in the snow while trying to catch a shot of a roosting crane. But we were all friends back then, all four of us. Once, there was a competition between Nika and I where we tried to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest. Even though he won I wasn't upset at all, but I think it was impossible for any of us to have been upset that day. The way Nika laughed... or that face he makes when he's too shy to say something, just like that face he made to Tanya when—

It was during the summer when Nika first showed me the clubhouse. A small, abandoned building where he kept odds and ends. We would spend afternoons together talking, or making silly plans; all sorts of plans for the future, or what new places or things we could shoot. Eventually we drifted from that place. We started going less and less, until...

When Tanya asked me, I told her it was fine. That even though Nika was a boy and got into fights, and did stupid things occasionally, he was a good guy. He has always been nice to me, and he definitely does have a good heart. And so, I knew Tanya would be happy with him. If Tanya was happy, then I would be too.




... Whenever I'm around Nika, sometimes my chest tightens so much that I forget to take a breath. As if there's something in my stomach, jumping around- dancing, and these pinpricks suddenly dot all over my arms. Whenever I see him, I don't know why, but it feels—

Later that day, when I saw Tanya walk home with Nika, I thought my heart would beat out of my chest. I didn't know why. I don't know why.

[ooc: Slowpoke forever. Backdated to earlier in the evening. ]

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Suou Pavlichenko

May 2010

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