sapanwood: (☄ hesitant)
[personal profile] sapanwood
That day, when Nika asked Tanya to be his girlfriend, she first asked if it was all right with me. Tanya thought... I think, she must have thought that I liked Nika since we were always around each other. But it— it wasn't like that! The two of us were both in photography club, so we couldn't help but be together during shoots. Sometimes he would be there to help set up for meetings. And there were times when he would tease me, like when I accidentally tripped and planted my face in the snow while trying to catch a shot of a roosting crane. But we were all friends back then, all four of us. Once, there was a competition between Nika and I where we tried to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest. Even though he won I wasn't upset at all, but I think it was impossible for any of us to have been upset that day. The way Nika laughed... or that face he makes when he's too shy to say something, just like that face he made to Tanya when—

It was during the summer when Nika first showed me the clubhouse. A small, abandoned building where he kept odds and ends. We would spend afternoons together talking, or making silly plans; all sorts of plans for the future, or what new places or things we could shoot. Eventually we drifted from that place. We started going less and less, until...

When Tanya asked me, I told her it was fine. That even though Nika was a boy and got into fights, and did stupid things occasionally, he was a good guy. He has always been nice to me, and he definitely does have a good heart. And so, I knew Tanya would be happy with him. If Tanya was happy, then I would be too.

... Whenever I'm around Nika, sometimes my chest tightens so much that I forget to take a breath. As if there's something in my stomach, jumping around- dancing, and these pinpricks suddenly dot all over my arms. Whenever I see him, I don't know why, but it feels—

Later that day, when I saw Tanya walk home with Nika, I thought my heart would beat out of my chest. I didn't know why. I don't know why.

[ooc: Slowpoke forever. Backdated to earlier in the evening. ]

Date: 2010-03-24 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well that's easy, dear!

Date: 2010-03-24 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You couldn't possibly know.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

You will never really know how I think or how I feel.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're the one practically begging for advice.

Don't want it? Fine!

Date: 2010-03-24 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I-- I'm not asking for anything! I started recalling memories and suddenly it was all on the network everything.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's totally in your tone!

Date: 2010-03-24 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're looking too closely.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
In wasting your time?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Why are you yelling? Isn't that a little too much?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Why are all human children in this city brats?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm not a brat. It could be that you have too little patience.

Date: 2010-03-24 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cheh. It's obvious you like this guy, stupid girl.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I- It's not like that at all! Nika and I are only friends, and that's it.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So your stomach always turns somersaults when you're around your friends, huh. In that case, you should see a doctor.


Date: 2010-03-24 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not all of them, just—

Only when I see Nika.


Date: 2010-03-24 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wh- why do these weird things keep on slipping out? What sort of stupid curse is this?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sit back and think about what you just said.

--An annoying one.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You really are a stupid girl.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
How can I say I like someone if I don't understand it? If I don't understand what "love" is?

It wouldn't make sense.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Isn't feeling it enough? Since when has love ever made sense, anyway?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
How can I be sure it's that feeling is really love? There's no way, unless I understand what it is.

Date: 2010-03-24 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Look, your heart clearly knows what it is, all right? Listen to it.

/erases the it's typo sob

Date: 2010-03-24 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's not a good enough reason.


Date: 2010-03-25 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can't give up if there's nothing to give up.


Date: 2010-03-25 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well this was a giant waste of time.

Date: 2010-03-25 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're the one wasting it.

Date: 2010-03-25 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're the one who's too stubborn to face facts!

Date: 2010-03-25 09:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're the one who's looking at facts that don't exist!

Date: 2010-03-25 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2010-03-27 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Of course not, because my nose actually exists. My feelings for Nika don't!

Date: 2010-03-24 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that's your first crush?

Date: 2010-03-24 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Don't you have feline-themed underwear to shop for?

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